Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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