he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
