wakey wakey hands off snakey
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
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