will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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