I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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