i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
