'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Randomize
