Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
