his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
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