its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Randomize
