David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
