I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
