seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Randomize
