I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
