there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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