South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
