The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
