So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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