i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
