Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
