So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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