I wish i was in the wii world.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Randomize
