I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
