you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
