Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize