i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
