At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I just want to make out with him forever
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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