I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
