it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
