You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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