I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
