Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize