you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
