I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize