It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
