Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
