Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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