im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
