I'm so fucking centered right now
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
