miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
