She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
