In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
