exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
