Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize