I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Randomize
