I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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