His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize