God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
