Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
