After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
