My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
