yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize