I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
