you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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