I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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