that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize