is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
