oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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