You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
