the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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